Survive to Win
by Rollin'in'th'Deep
Summary: A reality game show hosted by Cartman! Who shall win? No slash! Just fun!
1. Hell Turned to a show

_A/N: I need beta readers badly ; O ;. I'm new to fanfiction please don't kill me eep. This isn't yaoi so get out and enjoy the in character people :P (but if you want yaoi then comment how you are a yaoi fangirl that is desperate?). I hope you review, I continue when you review. This was inspired by a Kyle and Craig fic because the plot was so awesome :P._

_South park is by Matt and Trey._

_WARNING: Swearing...OF DOOOOOOOM._

_BTW This is going to be a point of view pattern, today is KYLE'S~...next is Stan then Kenny etc...except I bet Kenny's is muffled :U._

Chapter 1

Hell. Turned to a show.

I kept drumming my pale fingers at the edge of the wooden desk. Waiting for that stupid fatass to get out of the principal's office was just a hassle. My eyes dart across the screen to search for something that can keep me awake, I took a glimpse at Stan taking a heavy drift-his heavy eyelids looked as if it was melting and Kenny just reading a playboy edition of whatever. I'm not really interested in these kind of magazines, why would a male pay all of his life savings for pictures of nude women? Well, he's Kenny after all, he's my best friend with Stan as my super best friend followed by a fat chipmunk who doesn't even deserve to be alive (yeah, you know who).

As the sound of my fingers echoed, I waited and waited until the door opened or...should I just open the door by itself? I wonder how many times that racist fuck been to the principal's office? I couldn't count. It's been five years and he's still the same. My personality didn't change as much, stubborn as ever-I would get perfect A's and be the top of my class other then Wendy...then there was Stan. When he turned 11, he changed to a cynical asshole of the world, thought everything was shit and crap. It was a relief he wasn't anymore. I could remember the times when we both had fun together as friends.

I swore Kenny took more drugs and hung out with girls more, such a fucking pervert-but he isn't as worse as Cartman. My anger spurted even more, the patience has cut short when I finally spoke.

"We should ditch him. Cartman's just going to bring us in his trouble. I don't know what the hell his problem is but we should all just ditch him and go to Raisins or Denny's...I don't want to be apart of his guilt and trouble anymore."

Stan's head bobbed up like stuck elevator as he rubbed his red eyes. Kenny took a quick glance at me and continued reading his book...it's like both of them aren't even paying attention to me! I was red, furious. "Are you guys even listening to me?" I snapped. Kenny slightly nodded, his eyes glued to the pages.

"Yeah, Cartman's just a waste. We should just go somewhere." Stan mumbled.

I won, victory is mine. Why did we even go here anyway? I stood up, but being blocked from that giant tree over there-I couldn't get up. Who even put plants in that direction anyway? Kenny was the last one, as I quickly grabbed the porn book and dropped it on the rosemary's pot.

"Hrf! Irf's nrf fraa!" He shouted.

"I don't care if it's not fair, just go to Denny's with us. "

Kenny gave up and followed Stan, this building was old but it still was fresh to us. There was the regular dark goth kids on the corner of the room, smoking cigarettes and moaning about dark poems I don't really give a fuck. There was a new waitress to replace the old one last year but it seems she got used to the Goths ordering coffee for them everyday. Sometimes I caught sight of them near the abandoned dumpster, I remember when Kenny tried to pass the soccer ball and I didn't really know after that, I thought he was late for the soccer practice so I scolded him.

After we sat at our regular seats, the waitress came over and warmed us a small smile.

"What would you like as a beverage?" She inquired. Her blonde curls were blocking her large pale forehead, the ordinary bright uniform looked not so fresh anymore...behind that smile I knew she was restless.

"Irf rif a rmf orf yrfu brofff." Kenny suggested with a raise of his right eyebrow. The waitress looked disgusted but shook her head in reply. "Ha ha, very funny. We do not cook my boobs young boy." I rolled my heavy emerald eyes.

"Kenny would like a glass of water while I like a milkshake."

"Frku yru grui! Defr orflr tri a kar afro isf wrfter." Ranted the blonde.

"Don't worry. We're going to share our meals for you."

Stan scoffed and looked around the walls of Denny's. "The walls...are yellow now.." He said. I didn't notice it, but the restaurant had changed the wall color. Just then my cellphone rang at the wrong moment. I checked the caller ID...anonymous? Who the hell is he? Just when I thought of clicking the red X button I had accidentally pressed the call one instead, giving a heavy sigh-I went for it.

"Hello, who are you?"

I hear hoarse chuckle. That voice seemed familiar...it almost sounds like...

"Cartman, is that you?"

"Fuck! I am unknown!"

"I'm going to hang up now..."

"No wait, Kahl!"

"What the fuck do you want? If you want to shit in my pants then no."

" No Kahl."

"I thought you were in the Principal Office!"

"Yes KAHL. But it was all acting. So shut up and listen. I just got like, won from a lottery and I got so many fucking cash...and another reward which is the people I choose for a new reality TV show and you guys are going to star in them! It's like, surviving in a jungle. So meet me up at my house guys, tell Stan and Kenny that they're also invited!"

"I'm not going. I'm hanging up now."

Just when I wanted to press the end button, Eric's voice screamed right at my left eardrum.

"NO KAHL! YOU GET PAID MONEY YOU FAG."

I winced at his harsh reply and sighed even more.

"Fine, for the money."

"My house, 6 pm and be on time or you die gaywad!"

Just then the connection hung up like some Hollywood Horror movie. Giving a death glare at my cellphone isn't going to fix everything, but pretending it was Cartman was another thing-so I shoved the small object in Kenny's tap water and tried to strangle it's base just like Homer Simpson...little did I know, it was still my cellphone. Stan tilted his head and studied me.

"Dude, something's wrong?"

"Like the fact Cartman won a million dollars and got another reward as inviting us to survive in a trapped jungle with a ass load of cash for the winner?"

"Hrfy shrt durd!" Kenny exclaimed.

"I seriously need to pay off my rents but what the hell," Stan replied. In case you don't know, Stan got a car since we're all 16...and of course, needs to pay for gas. Kenny's just doing it for the money as I am, but I wanted to be known as that kid who survived a crappy reality show instead. I wanted to prove Cartman wrong and I'll do it! Somehow...someday...I will beat his own game. That's when Kenny blew a wink at the nearby waitress, Stan took a a bite of his almond waffles which was covered in syrup and dark whip cream. I didn't want my french fries so I took a fried piece and threw it at Kenny's face...I missed my pathetic aim as the poor fries swam to the floor.

We didn't talk much but all I ever wondered in my mind was … Cartman's TV shit. Stan shoved his waffles at my cheeks, leaving a syrup mark at the corner.

"Dude you need to eat more, what's on your mind?"

"I don't know...maybe because I'll probably get fucked in this crap show?"

"Don't worry about it."

"C'mon man. It's Eric Cartmna we're talking about. The one who pretended to be handicap at the Special Olympics? The one who pretended to be nice to me when I didn't invite him to Casa Bonita? I don't know what the fuck he's going to do to me, we are friends after all but I still don't trust him."

Stan gave a shrug and got back to texting with Wendy. They should seriously get an inbox. I'm sick of how lovey dovey crap they put on Facebook like "I 3 you Stan!" or "Stan, can u get the new shoes, OMG 40% off. 333" and what's even worse is that Stan gets sick of all his messages in Facebook filled with Wendy's annoying phrases. He says he only goes there for talking with friends, he would regret when an event poked up when he was 10. Even since they were 10, things just went downhill from their relationship. Sometimes Stan would peck Wendy on the nose and leave chunks of vomit. It was still his same old habit...but he didn't puke as much. It's not as if I'm jealous, I'm glad he would finally be a man and suck it up but it might have been torturous to be able to lift two tons of bright powder, mini-skirts, and red flashy high heels. I heard Bebe tried to get Clyde back because she wanted more shoes, girls.

I'm glad I don't have a girlfriend...there was this one girl I liked but she turned to a whore. Just because of me. My thoughts shook off, interrupted by Stan's voice.

"Dude are you going to come? It's almost six."

_A/N: I ask you reviewers, should I add..yaoi fluff or just stick to pure plotness which is awesome for me lololol? Thanks for reading! I need beta-readers, like badly. _


	2. Wendy and I

_A/C: Hey everybody! I'm back, thank you soo much for your reviews even if I don't have a lot. Thank you anyways! I decided this story to NOT have yaoi in it. Because there are soo many yaoi fanfics that it's getting sick right? Remember when I said at the first chapter, how I would switch POV's? I decided to make Kenny's voice not muffled, thanks a lot for the reviewer who told me so! Next POV is probably Kenny's._

_WARNING: Kyle's mouth. Cartman's mouth. Craig's mouth. _

_South Pak does not belong to me, it belongs to Trey and Matt._

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><p><em><strong>THIS IS STAN'S POV NOW.<strong>_

**Chapter 2**

**Wendy and I.**

I love Wendy. I really do. Even if she pesters me sometimes I still really do love her, it's just that most of the time she would talk about shopping, even makes me shop if I don't want to or not. Wendy would invite all of her friends and talk right over me when I just stare and nod a couple of minutes. I sound like a queer fag but I just want to spend more of my hours with her, not with her friends. Bebe can be really loud, Red just dreams over Justin Bieber (he's 22 now and she still falls over him?) and Heidi spits gum all over my sneakers. Spending time with girls might be a heaven for Kenny, but it sure isn't for me. All I want to do is be together with Wendy. If I can somehow prove that I really do cherish her feelings, god what am I talking about? Right. Get back to reality.

Small soft cursed mumbles wrapped my left ear while chewing spat at my right. I looked over Kyle as he rambled about how this show is going to be stupid adding large emphasis. Kenny was walking beside me, picking up all the leftovers from the street as much as he can. Poor guy, literally, poor guy. That guy can't even afford a pack of gum. And me? I was just quietly taking a stroll to Cartman's house with my two best friends when the sun had slowly set.

I regret how I have to win an ass load of money for this reality show but I have to do it...well for my car, yes. But I did it for another thing, maybe if I save up all of my money I could buy something really wonderful for Wendy. What do girls like? Simple. Large beautiful jewelry with big packs of diamonds. Kenny saved over a few of his french fries, he said Kyle threw them at the floor. I didn't see the time we both had wasted, when Kyle loudly knocked Cartman's door, his 'big boned' face popped up.

"What do you wa-oh Kahl, Stan, and Kinny! You came early huh?" He quietly snickered.

Kyle's hands transformed to a fist, he grabbed Cartman's thin collar and started to holler at him.

"WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF GAME DO YOU WANT BASTARD?"

"Don't act like Chuck Norris dude. Calm down."

"I'm I'm...I'm going to go all Jackie Chan on you if you tell me what the hell you want!"

Kyle let go of Cartman's collar, as the fat fuck cleaned out his wrinkles located near his chest. Eric tilted his chin and had a large smirk that told me that hell was about to come loose. "I'll tell you when all of the members arrived." Cartman simply stated. I wish I could help Kyle calm down but he's really at it today, 5 years and they still are fighting. Just after that, I could hear various curse words down the hall.

"SHIT! You ran out of-COCK-juice!" A boy complained. Who was he? Is he..? Thomhas?

"You're Thomhas right?" I inquired.

"Fuck-yes!"

"He's mah camera boy." Bragged Cartman. As if he wasn't tooting his horn enough.

Was I so love sick for Wendy or do I hear her voice as well? She came out of the hall with the torrent boy and smiled. Her tiny smile faded when she stared at me. Why was she here? I didn't know what to say, my jaw slightly dropped as I began silently stammering. Was I supposed to be ecstatic, or rather confused to see her?

"Why are you here Wendy?"

"I should be the one asking you." I can never win to a girl. Kyle stepped up, his dagger red glares still facing towards Cartman.

"We all came here for the money, right Wendy?" Interrupted Kyle.

Wendy and I both slightly nodded. She grinned and collapsed to me tight, "But we won't have any drama, right Stan?" I nervously smiled, I don't know if this can change our relationships but even if we break up-I will try my hard earned crap to convice her to be back with me. We cut our relationship several times before but always got back together doorbell rang, Kenny answered it with a simple "Hello." Craig was there with Clyde and Token-and of course, giving his signature finger. Clyde had large salt tears covering his cheeks and Token, he was just being a rich dick.

Craig raised his monotone voice as he entered with his dark red sneakers.

"Cartman, give it up you fat asshole."

"Give up what?" Innocently questioned that fat asshole.

Token plugged his god damn rich golden platinum ipod with his god damn rich golden platinum head set to block off the noise of argument. Wait, why was Token here? Isn't he rich? So why does he need an ass load of cash..? Then there was Clyde, I couldn't count him really that selfish but there has to be a reason why he's here. Last of all, Craig. Like most people, I swear he did it for the money.

A couple of minutes past by the sound of loud music, arguments, cursed rambles, chewing noises, and groaned sobs (by Clyde.) there was a group of goth people waiting outside Cartman's wooden door. The atmosphere died down when they just had entered. Oh great, goth kids. Clyde decided to use his (tiny) brain and open the door, only to be crying even harder when they busted in. "We aren't conforming with the other members so we're here. Plus if we get that much money, maybe we can get rid of the world and only have Cthulhu here." Henrietta said. Curly Goth nodded in agreement. It's usually strange that the small Goth and the Red Goth isn't here but who gives a god damn fuck.

Both of them were silent and sat at the corner of a dark room. Alright we have two goth kids, Clyde, Craig, Token, Me, Kyle, Kenny, Wendy, and not counting Thomhas as the camera man-there were 9 contestants in total.

"This tots remind of Total Drama Island cept mah show's gonna be more kickass." The fatass shoved his fat words in our faces.

"Shut the hell up fatass." Wendy argued.

"No you shut up bitch." Snapped the hot headed turd of lard.

Sometimes I would think Kyle and Wendy are the exact counterparts, hate Cartman, and both get straight A's. Tweek slammed his weak body to Cartman's open door ( I didn't even see that his door was open) followed by Butters who was hiding behind Tweek. "Gee heya fella's." Whispered the nervous blonde. A long hour passed, all we have to hear is Cartman complaining how 'fucking slow' people are. Red, Heidi, Christophe, Gregory, Timmy, Jimmy, me, Craig, Token, Kyle, Kenny, the two goth kids, Wendy, Butters, Tweek, Clyde, Bradly, Bebe, Towelie (seriously, what the fuck dude?), Kyle Shwartz, Damien, and last of all, Dogpoo had finally appeared on Cartman's one crowded packed room. 23 suckers in all.

"Stan, can you hear me dude?" Kyle pleaded.

"Yeah, god damn there's a lot of people here."

Poor Kenny. Literally, poor Kenny. He's squashed like an overcooked oven-but I could feel a smile on his face because being stuck between Bebe and Heidi can make Kenny give off a dumb grin. Fucking perv. Eric stood up at his couch and clapped his huge mittens together.

"ATTENTION LOSERS!" Cartman screamed as he shoved a red plastic microphone though his mouth.

"You fags all have to be stuck in an island called Madagascar! Yah ya, based on the stupid fucking movie but it's the best place I can come up with! All of you dumb asses will go there...like, now. While Thomhas and I watch you die!"

Our faces looked as if it was going to explode, some leaked out tears, some were boiling red, some listened to their god damn rich gold platinum ipod's and me? I had my jaw opened the whole time.

"We didn't agree to this!" Kyle shouted.

"A million dollars you jew. " Lured the fatass.

To think bribery worked. All of a sudden, I could hear a loud choppy helicopter hovering over Cartman's roof. Thomhas pushed the camera to the contestant's faces as he tried a different angle every minute. What the hell?

"C'mon! Chop chop! Go in!" Ordered Eric, he cupped his mouth and directly told us what to do. This was hell alright.

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><p><em>AC: I remind you, no yaoi. ANNND this chapter talks more about the relationships of Stan and Wendy, so I hope you can understand how much Stan cares for Wendy._


	3. Partners

_A/C: Reviews make me happy! THANK YOU FOR THE ONE REVIEWER WHO REVIEWED MY LAST CHAPTER I LOVE YOU. YOU WERE THERE FOR ME WHEN TIMES WERE HARD /shot! You saw Kyle's goal to win the show, Stan's goal to win the show...BUT WHAT ABOUT KINNY? It's obvious pssshh. Thanks a lot for you reviewing! I didn't add much detail in the last chapter because I didn't get motivated or something._

_WARNING: Suggestive stuff, well it's Kenny's POV and language of...**DOOOOOMmm!**_

_South Park belongs to Matt and Trey. Not by me!_

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><p><em><strong>THIS IS KENNY'S POV NOW <strong>_

**Chapter 3**

A man of lust, power, and cheap cigarettes. That's who I am, my name is Kenny McCormick, well-my full first name is Kenneth but my friends and most of the people I know call my Kenny. Who am I exactly? ...I don't consider myself a normal regular human, more like the teenager who got killed severely as people don't really know that I was dead. The last time I got murdered was when I was transported to soccer practice with Kyle and somehow a large lavender car ran over me, when I saw a flashy signal-I find myself laying on my cheap plastic bed. I gave up the act of Mysterion when I was practically 13 years old.

Now-how can I explain to myself why I was here? Ah yes, being carried away by a helicopter is bad enough, I'm now wondering if I should fall and suicide or rather keep up this act. I'm eager though, sitting next to Bebe and Heidi. Holy shit that's so awesome, I wonder which girl I should bang first, I studied Bebe's large breasts-crap I forgot she got the largest of them all...D cup? Or F cup?

Bebe took a quick glare to my eyes, her bright crystal eyes had a dark glint as she scoffed and proceeded to produce her fake clown makeup on her pale dainty cheeks. Should I go for it? Her tits streamed in my brain, oh god. I have to squeeze those large eggs plastered on her tight chest.

"I only went here because I can shop for shoes and dump Clyde when I get the money." Bebe said, her nose in the air-acting as if she was the bitch of the world.

I nodded, really. I didn't give a flying fuck. But-to please girls...all you have to do is nod and repeat everything she says.

"Dump Clyde and shop for shoes.." I imitated.

"Exactly." She replied, is it me or did I see a tiny grin?

Now, not including my love life, I have 2 best friends...and a fatass. Kyle's a real pal, but I sometimes think he's a bit too sensitive, Stan's regular-but a bit too boring. And me? I was the one who got 6 girlfriends, all to bed. Then later on-dumped. Bebe was a tough challenge though, but her tits urged me to be determined.

And where am I exactly? Cartman gave every single one of us a thin slip of paper-with our so called partner's names. I got Token, crap. He's a fucking rich dick, he didn't seem so pleased either...his eyes narrowed a glare and went back to listening his god damn golden rich platinum apple iPod. Cartman explained us to keep track of our partners since it's 'giving an advantage'.

I could tell that fat crap got his money all shoved in his head, he's worse then Token really.

"No, no! We didn't copy Total Drama Island, don't sue me! Your show is hella worse, it's animated fuck and this is reality! Learn the fucking difference. I don't care if you're going to have different lawyers, who gives a god damn fuck?..." I could hear Eric arguing over copyright claims, and loud sobs produced by Clyde.

"WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS?" Screamed the crybaby Clyde.

"Shut up Clyde." Snapped Bebe.

"Aren't you my girlfriend Bebe?"

"I can't hear my god damn rich platinum hip hop. " Complained Token.

"Will everyone be quiet?" Asked Stan.

"Stan? Why aren't you next to me?" Wendy inquired, her soft palms pressing to an empty seat located to the right of his tits.

"I know I came here to buy more crack, I mean candy!" Towelie said.

"This helicopter is fucking loud. Stupid Justin Bieber and Willow Smith wannabe's." Said the Curly Goth.

"TIMMEH!"

Words and words were clogged in my eardrums, it sounded as if 22 elephants all packed in one room while riding bicycles. I was extremely squeezed by Bebe and Heidi, though my face was almost reaching her giant boobs. Me likey.

Kyle stood up at his cushioned seat and proceeded to clap his hands.

"WILL EVERYBODY SHUT THE HELL UP?" He screamed.

After a long three hour passed, a silent awkward moment which was accomplished by the one and only Kyle-we arrived. Madagascar. Oh the bright palm trees cascading over large grey rocks as if it was paradise. The hazel coconuts swayed to the beat of the strong winds, it looked as if it was gently dancing with the breeze, sun rays whispered to me all sexy like to unhood my orange jumpsuit. Is this supposed to be survival or vacation? Because going here seems like heaven, now all I need is million sexy chicks and it'll be perfect. I continued to keep silent and stare at the white sandy grains which topped over my plastic sandals. As soon as we landed, the helicopter drifted off and left us alone. Thomhas zoomed in our reactions, I have to admit-Kyle's was the funniest. His face all scrunched up, with a dark red blush over his pale cheeks, Stan laughed as he saw Kyle's tomato face.

"This isn't funny! I didn't agree to be dying here!"

"Ay! Go do something, I'm going to mah secret hideout place while Thomhas watches you suffer. We have cameras put over ….ay! Dogpoo! Stop shitting on the sand! That's fucking gross!" Exclaimed Eric. Dogpoo hissed as he jumped in the saltwater...is he dead?

"Alright Dogpoo was eliminated. You're mission is to not go insane-or you're eliminated. Ha! I could of made you die but the the lawyers said that when you get eliminated, a helicopter picks you up and makes you wander to a crazy therapist...have fun-not!" Snickered Cartman as his smirk grew every second.

I have a feeling I'm going to die. Red screamed in horror. "You mean, no makeup? No MTV?" She whined.

"I'm going to be working by myself, I don't care if I have a partner."

"Bu-but Craig. Gee I'm your partner." Stuttered Butters.

I decided to make the best of it and head over to Token.

"Hey dude." I said.

"Don't talk to me." He replied.

"Stop being a rich asshole! Sooner or later you're god damn rich platinum objects will be gone!"

He blocked off my noise as he stuck his headphones to his dark ears. I'm certainly poor, and he's god damn platinum rich. Poor and rich does not mix well together. I could see Kyle talking over his obnoxious cousin, and it was such a coincidence that Stan and Wendy were both partners...if only I would get a girl as my partner.

"SHIT! I forgot to -FUCK-tell you -ASSHOLES-to fill out this -CRAP-journal!" Thomhas dropped his camera and held out 22 journals. So I'm supposed to fill this out? Alright then. Wait-a pencil, I need a fucking pencil.

"Where's the pencil?" I inquired.

"FUCK-here!" Thomhas held out a long stick. Was that a fucking pencil? Whatever.

_**DAY 1**_

_I don't consider this a faggy diary. I'm questioning myself why I want to write this. Anyways, I have Token as my partner. I hate him already, we don't get along and he's being such a rich dick. I can see his god damn rich golden platinum pen he's scribbling on. Curse him. Why can't I be as rich as him? And, well-since he's rich it's a major turn on for girls. That's why he was at the top for the cutest boy list (can't even believe I remember that when I was 10). I think I might die sooner or later, because well-survival is not exactly my point of view. I just want to win the cash, and buy some major cash. Wait-can you buy money for money? Curse my poor skills. I hate Cartman, I can write it 78 times but_

_I_

_HATE_

_HIM._

_Do I have to end it? Like, saying sayonara or goodbye.. well I guess a goodbye is enough. Bye journal._

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><p><em>AC: Tell me who you want the characters to win, I might do a popularity poll and it might /affect the winners...but I'm thinking of a certain someone to win the show! /Hint-check my characters tag. I'll probably continue tomorrow, review please~. I'm sorry if you think Token's a dick, well-I like him XD._


	4. Rat Shit

_A/N: OH MY GOD I'M NOT DEAD JHSKJADHKJSAH. I am back with over a month for CHAPTER FOUR. Yes! This chapter is a bit gross so I advise you, if you have a weak heart then don't read XD? I'm pretty sure, but still. No yaoi, and you can see if two characters are eliminated in this chapter! _

_WARNING: Language, Gross stuff_

_South Park does NOT belong to me in any way, it belongs to Matt Stone and Trey Parker._

**Chapter 2**

_**Rat Shit**_

Butters held his breath as his small fragile pink cheeks flustered when the large portion of disgusting filth was shoved in his mouth. He instantly threw up by the reaction and chunks of orange vomit was covering almost half of the floor. Butters didn't give up though, so he insisted Cartman for another one...of these rat vile creatures. Kenny squeezed the bridge of his nose by the foul odor produced by Butter's …. pool. I figured as if I could win this tough challenge, this...very tough challenge. Wendy looked more sick then Craig, her eyebrows was tightly squeezed together, her cheeks were in a deep shade of red. I could only tell what she would of done. Bebe took a quick glimpse at the horrible cooking,

"EWWWW!" Bebe covered her mouth, her eyes could tell not only was she horrified-but was ready to throw in the towel. She immediately headed straight to the back of the palm trees as I could hear faint howls of her deep moans. Damn Eric Cartman, damn him! I stared below at the dish of violet radishes sprinkled with rat shit, topped with Cartman's green SNOT. Closing my eyes, thinking of beautiful decorated french crap served with salt and little pink plates made from China...that isn't going to help. Closing my nose, evaporating only the fine french cuisine and smelling wonderful flavors of toasted bread made from Jewish people-worked a bit, but I still have to breath. Eric leaned over my presence as he smirked over my wrinkled face. "Ay jew! Go eat that fucking plate! Or do you want mommy to spit kosher mustard all over this food?"

Thomhas zoomed in the plate, even Thomhas looked horrified to stare at the horrible, disgusting shit! Eric, on the other hand-his eyes were amused and pleased, he was the only one who was joyful. Sprinkling my crap with only just a pinch of his 'kosher mustard'-he had a devious smile. A smile not only that can tell me that hell was beginning, but it had already began. I bet you're all wondering why we got in this mess? Challenge 1

**_DEAR LOSERS._**

_I the most wonderful, handsome, most awesome person in this earth (and the one who kills more jews then Hitler) will have to give you my first challenge. While I was watching Total Drama Island because THAT SHOW WAS FUCKING COPYING MY STYALE, I found one challenge to eat all of the shit served with shit. What other way to make it more awesome by serving REAL crap? Like baby barf, human hearts, rat fungus, HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE FUN. __The one doesn't eat at least TWELVE dishes served will go on the helicopter and **E**__**AT MORE PLATES SERVED.**__ HA HA HA. _

It was almost noon and only Kenny, Christophe, Jimmy, and Bradley was finished with their plates. I was up to 7 plates, my stomach was about to hurl but I wanted to beat that fat fuck! Slowly I digested one rat radish with a quick gulp, and proceeded to the rat _crap_-and trust me, you may think rat shit might be small but NO this rat shit looked as if it was mutated with fucking ninja turtles to make this look like a roll of fat duck tape. As I think of anything delicious coming to mind, I thought about Cartman. Then a smile was forming upon me, entrusting that a devious plan was upcoming ahead. I thought more about Cartman, his ugly fat face, fucking faggy cheeks, his double chin as big as Adele's...I continued to eat my plate without any hesitation.

Later on, digesting one more dish all in a minute-my plan was growing larger as I smiled more, giving off a dumb big grin. In my thoughts there was me standing on front of Cartman, and Cartman. He was loosely tied but still sitting there like a fat piece of statue and he was wailing for his mom to come home. I imagined myself taking a large fat knife and swabbing deep in his stomach, red blood pissed out of his guts as I slowly started to eat him whole. It was a long time swallowing him up because he was a fat fuck but I imagined myself to eat him more and more.

" Dude! Look at Kyle!"

"What the fuck, how did he manage to eat all 12 plates?"

"G-gee that guy has some big tummy."

Forcing myself to eat more, as the remains were soon gone. I opened my eyes and found all of the members staring blankly on my eyes. "What?" After my reply, Wendy's head quickly popped up with a loud screech.

"DONE!"

Her hands in the air as if she won a world record, all of the eyes now stared at Wendy. She had ate at least 12 dishes to fill her stomach, Craig was second place with 10 plates. I urged my body to just give up and sleep but I have to help them somehow, I won't let people lose to the likes of Cartman! Eric Theodore Cartman! Butters was dead last tied with the goth kids who was vegetarian and didn't conform with the others. I walked over to Butters with small steps and shoved a spoonful of crap on his mouth. "Ergh..! G-gee Ickrhh!" I have to treat Butters as a fucking mom and he's just fucking 16? Throwing my hands in exhaustion, I continued to force feed Butters. After he was shoved with 12 plates, I continued with Token who looks really unpleasant. "No way in hell I'm going to eat that!" Token complained with his god damn rich platinum complaints. I rolled my heavy emerald eyeballs, am I cursed with being so fucking generous?

Token was stuffed, I wasn't trying to go force feed the goth kids because no way in hell am I going to touch them. While I was feeding Token, every other contestant finished (except Towelie because he's a towel and I'm pretty sure towels can't eat disgusting shit). So I took a wild guess to see who's out. Towelie or the goth kids? My best choice is the goth kids, but we didn't have to VOTE for who's out, Cartman just simply chooses who's out like a fat faggy boss.

It was midnight already as my red palms began to itch with my stupid little effort to try and actually be nice. Stan held my hands and stared at these red rough daggers, "Dude how sad. You shouldn't force feed these two." I rolled my eyes and shook my head. " I did it only because I don't want anyone loosing to Cartman"

"Wait ! Eeek! I finished!" Tweek jumped up and hollered some random letter while his hands were shaking on his blonde mess. Tweek quickly sat next to Timmy on the cold wet sand. I expect the goth kids to go out, I really-really expect them to. As my thoughts drifted away, my mind was blurring out and I became less stable to even stare at some chipped fire. Clouding in my dreams was Cartman taunting on how much of a jew I am, how much he hates me, how much he wanted me to go die back in the memories. For a second, when we had first met-I wanted him to be my friend. But suddenly, that all changed because of complaints, I thought Cartman was a good guy for once. I don't remember any nice things he said to me, not even a compliment, I swear I wish I could just kill him. I wish I could just strangle his fat thick-he's an arrogant, ignorant, idiotic, stupid, fucking fat …

"**TOWELIE!"**

I jumped up to see most of the contestants hugging Towelie. "I was going to get the money for my son.!" Towelie teared up, as he wiped his eyes with his body and tried to jump on the helicopter only to be lifted by Butters. "I-gee I'll miss you Towelie." Frowned Butters. Cartman rolled his dark eyes, acting as if he doesn't care.

"Enough with the fag talk Butters, just let go of Towelie. I swear if you act like that on every night sobbing about who's gone or who's not gone I'm going to make you the one who's gone!" He snapped.

"But I um gee I just wanted to go and..."

"Shut up Butters!" Cartman quickly replied.

I felt like punching Eric, round hard on his jaw and watching him cry but that would make me have a bad reputation, even if Thomhas is around or not. I rubbed my eyes, when the helicopter looked like a dot in the night I would watch it go father to the moon. Stan was sleeping next to Wendy, wait-where's my partner? I guess my annoying cousin got eliminated too, I swear I saw him wandering the remaining parts of Madagascar before...he was somewhere at the southern eastern tip of Madagascar when I had collected some coconuts. I didn't care to ask why he was there, I saw a metal foil on his head like he was in a Futurama episode-I clearly thought my cousin lost his head. So I simply ignored the nerd and went back to picking up the remains of a palm tree.

It was already the middle of the night and I still hadn't slept, my brain was stressed and all I could think about is winning the reality show. The only ones who are still awake is the half of the goth kids and Tweek. Tweek was sitting on a hole he had dug but was still shivering. I could tell Tweek was about to lose his head because he didn't have one day without coffee. The goth kids mumbled some dark mysterious poems that I didn't really understand but carried on ignoring me. I think Henrietta took a quick glance and went back to talking with the leader of the goth pack. Heidi was cursing for some brand new high heels, her thirst for shopping grown worse. This example makes me think humanity is getting worse by every minute.

_A/N: VOTE for your favorite character to win by REVIEWING. Voting reviews are closed when I say so...soon! So please review/vote/suggest/etc. Towelie and Kyle's cousin got eliminated, but is Kyle's cousin really eliminated? Review and I'll continue!  
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